Beth&Allen's Journey: Delaney Jane

Well, I apologize for not posting for a few days...we have been a little busy :) It has been a whirlwind of emotions the past couple of days, but the best news is I'M FINALLY A MOMMY!!! Our sweet baby girl was born Friday morning, Feb 10th at 10:22 a.m., weighing 6 lbs 1 oz and 18 1/2 inches long. A week ago I wasn't even sure this was going to happen, and we still have a long process before its final, but Allen and I are in love.

I guess I should start with Friday morning. The Birth Mother's mom called and said she could not get a hold of her by phone and she wasn't answering the door. I was so scared. I feared the worst. I just prayed and prayed that everyone was okay and that God would protect our sweet baby. Allen tried to get in touch later on that day, but wasn't successful. Friday evening we had plans to go over to some friends house for dinner. We were hanging out over there around 10 when Allen's other phone rang. We all just froze. When he answered, it was the Birth Mother's mom. She told Allen that the baby had been born and there was a DCS case worker who wanted to speak with us. We were given her name and number and Allen called her. She said she wasn't allowed to tell us much except that she only gets involved when drugs are involved. She said the Birth Mother named us specifically to take the baby. The father had named himself on the birth certificate and claimed he wanted the baby, but refused a drug test at the hospital. We were told that the case worker would speak to her supervisor and call us in the morning with what details she could give us. Allen called the birth mother's mom back and they talked a little more. She felt that the boyfriend came back into the picture with drugs and that is why she wouldn't come to the doctor's appt. She also believes the BM was beat up by him :( There is still not a guarantee that he is the actual father, but he did name himself on the birth certificate. I went to bed Friday night anxious and scared. I wasn't sure what God's plan was in all of this. I knew I wanted this little girl but I was scared to death! Saturday morning the case worker contacted Allen and said the baby did test positive for several drugs. I was devastated :( This was not what we had planned. I pretty much laid in my bed and sobbed, crying out to God, asking him why he wouldn't bless us with a child? We had prayed for so long. We had waited for so long. We yearned for that fulfillment. We thought we'd make good parents. He had brought this adoption situation to our attention and we didn't understand why it would fall through. A little while later Allen called and seemed very positive. I couldn't figure out why. The way I saw it, this boyfriend was going to try to swoop in, he was on drugs, and our chances of getting the baby were slim. He said to me, "Beth, this baby needs a home, and we need a baby." Why wouldn't we at least try?

So the case worker told us that the baby was in the NICU but we had permission to go back and see her. So we got ready and went to meet our daughter! I wasn't entirely ready for this. I was so worried we were going to lose her and I didn't want to get attached. Well, that was pretty much impossible. Look at this precious face :)

When we went into the room the nurse was amazing. She explained short and long term effects caused by the drug use. She was in the nicu to be monitored for any withdrawal symptoms. I knew when I looked at her I thought she was a perfect gift from God and I begged for Him to take away anything that would hurt her :( She was an innocent baby and didn't deserve the things that could happen to her. We left there to speak with our attorney but then raced right back to the hospital that night. That has pretty much been our life the last 4 days. We spend every second we can there and are running around like crazy every other minute! Our attorney advised us on several things but was very encouraging. She just needed us to be aware of the risks. We scheduled a meeting for Sunday afternoon with the DCS case worker and our attorney. From the second this little angel entered the world, people have been praying for her. I am just overwhelmed at the amount of prayer, support through text messages and phone calls, and the giving of everyone around us! It's amazing how wonderful everyone is in a time of need. We just feel blessed beyond what words can describe! I know this baby girl isn't going to need a thing!! HA :) Between church, school, and family, people are so anxious to bring us things. We don't even know how to express our gratitude :)

Sunday morning we couldn't wait to get back over here! We are allowed to stay the night, but its a chair and the nurse advised us to go home and get our sleep while we can :) We hung out and held her Sunday morning then met my Dad, Gloria, and Nick for lunch. They weren't allowed to go back yet so they just came to visit with us and bring her some cute outfits! We had our meeting at 2 and it went really well. We actually thought we were going down the foster care route but it turns out we had a better chance and maybe a quicker time frame, if we asked for legal custody then moved forward. Since the birth parents have had no contact with the baby since she was born, and drugs were involved, they would really have to do a lot to prove they are fit. We still feel very strongly that the BM still wants us to have her. The father was probably being difficult in the situation but in all reality, wouldn't even know where to begin to raise a baby. So, we filled out some paperwork and the case worker made sure our home was fit for a baby. We were told we would file for custody Monday morning, then probably have a preliminary dependency hearing later in the week. We ate dinner with some friends from school and got some precious things! Rachel had copied some pictures I had sent and had them framed! We have them up in her room :) We came back over to the hospital Sunday night and were able to give her a bath, read to her and rock her to sleep. That is one blessing about her being in the NICU. We have been the only ones allowed back so she has gotten used to our voices and smells. We talk to her, tell her we love her, pray over her every time we leave, kiss and squeeze on her, and just let her know she is our perfect miracle from God. I had gotten these two books on Amazon last week and we read them to her the last few days. We could barely get through them because of all the emotion. We are just so amazed at God's timing and His faithfulness to provide!!

This is her own little shelf in her room!

Monday Allen went to work and I came back over here. The nurses are so welcoming and helpful. We have been treated wonderfully and were just overwhelmed considering we weren't even legal guardians yet. God has really just worked out so many things in our favor. Monday afternoon we went to juvenile court to get legal custody. We were there a while but it all worked out! We left with legal custody and the birth parents cannot see her. We have a hearing scheduled for Friday which just starts the process. There is a lot in our favor and we feel confident this little girl is meant to be part of our family. Last night Allen's parents got to meet her for the first time!! They were just in awe. They couldn't believe what a precious angel she was. She is so loved already!!

I am staying over here all day today finally! We have the court date Fri. morning and we are hoping she will come home this weekend! The levels they check for have been pretty good. She hasn't had to be on any meds for the withdrawals which is really good!! I know that is because of all the prayers!!! She is still on some antibiotics (1 of 4 cords that I have to work around when changing her diaper or clothes AAHH!! :) but other than that she is doing great. I will continue to keep this blog updated with info about what is going on with our little adventure! We are hoping that she will officially be "ours" in less than a year. The process can take that long though. In our eyes and hearts she is already ours. We love our precious Delaney Jane Goins with all of our hearts, and cannot wait for her to meet all of the wonderful people who have prayed for us for years, and have prayed for her as well!!